Let’s Talk About Asking for Help

“I remember crying while I was wrapping presents, feeling like a failure because I couldn’t keep up on my own. Everyone was coming to my house, and I felt completely alone in the chaos like I was drowning under the weight of it all. I wasn’t sure I’d make it to January.” – Kerry, a Mental Health Movement member 

The holidays can be a bit of a rollercoaster, can’t they? One minute, you’re enjoying the twinkling lights and festive atmosphere, and the next, you’re overwhelmed by all the planning, gatherings, and endless to-do lists. If you’re feeling the pressure to keep up with the holiday cheer, you’re definitely not alone. This time of year can bring its own unique set of challenges, and sometimes, we all need a little extra support to get through it. Whether it’s dealing with family dynamics, managing expectations, or simply not feeling “merry” at every moment, reaching out for help can be a powerful way to find some balance. So, let’s talk about recognising when you need that extra hand and how to ask for help in a way that feels right for you. 

When to Ask for Help During the Holidays

The holidays come with a lot of extra “stuff,”? Between social commitments, family gatherings, and the pressure to make everything just right, it’s easy to feel like things are piling up. Here are some signs that it might be time to reach out for a little extra help, whether that’s from friends, family, or a mental health professional: 

1. You Feel Overwhelmed or Exhausted 

If holiday planning has you worn out—emotionally, physically, or both—it’s probably a sign that you need a breather. We all have limits, and when you feel like you’re carrying too much, asking for help can make the load a lot lighter. Don’t wait until you’re completely burned out to reach out. 

2. You’re Struggling with Daily Tasks 

When the holiday stress starts creeping into basic things, like making meals, staying organised, or keeping up with work, that’s a good signal that some extra support might be in order. Sometimes, it’s only when things feel harder than usual that we realise how much we’re juggling. 

3. Your Usual Go-To’s Aren’t Cutting It 

We all have our favourite ways to handle stress, whether it’s going for a run, writing in a journal, or venting to a friend. But if those usual things aren’t helping, or if you’re feeling just as overwhelmed after, it might be time to try something different. The holidays can bring up unique challenges, and sometimes, it’s just more than our regular coping tools can handle alone.  

4. You Feel Disconnected or Lonely 

The holiday season is often described as a time for family and connection, which can make feelings of loneliness more intense if you’re struggling to feel connected. Reaching out to a friend or family member can help bridge that gap, reminding you that you’re not alone during this season or on other difficult days, like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, which can be especially challenging for those who have lost a parent or have complex family relationships. 

How to Ask for Help Over the Holidays

Once you’ve realised you need some extra support, the next step is figuring out how to ask for it. Here are some tips to make reaching out feel a bit easier, especially during the holidays: 

1. Start Small 

Asking for help doesn’t mean you have to share every detail right away. Try starting small with someone you trust—maybe just let them know you’re feeling a bit off. Something like, “I’m a bit overwhelmed right now, and I could use someone to talk to.” Opening up even a little bit can get the conversation started without feeling pressured to dive in all at once. 

2. Choose the Right Person 

Think about who in your life makes you feel safe and supported—it could be a close friend or a family member who’s been a good listener in the past. Opening up is easier when you’re talking to someone who “gets it” and listens well, especially when holiday emotions are running high. 

3. Be Specific About What You Need 

If you’re finding holiday tasks like shopping, decorating, or meal prep a bit much, don’t hesitate to ask for help with something specific. Try, “Could you help me with some errands this week?” Being clear about what you need makes it easier for others to step in and give you a hand—and it can make the holiday season feel a lot more manageable. 

4. Consider Professional Help 

Sometimes, no matter how supportive friends and family are, it’s just not enough. If the stress or emotions you’re feeling feel too big to handle alone, talking to a mental health professional can really help. The holiday season can bring up all sorts of deeper feelings, and a therapist can provide the tools to manage both seasonal and year-round challenges. 

5. Use Text or Email if Talking Feels Too Hard 

If saying things out loud feels too overwhelming, try reaching out through a text or email instead. Even a quick “I’ve been feeling low lately and wanted you to know” can be a good way to start connecting when talking face-to-face feels like too much. 

Tips for Managing During the Holidays

The holidays can come with a lot of extra stress, so here are a few simple ways to help you through this time of year: 

Set Boundaries Around Social Obligations 

The holidays can bring lots of invites and social expectations, but it’s totally okay to say “no” if you’re not feeling up to it. Try focusing on the people and activities that actually make you feel good rather than spreading yourself too thin. 

Take Breaks 

The holiday hustle can stir up all kinds of emotions. Make sure to carve out little breaks for yourself, whether it’s a walk outside, a few minutes of journaling, or just taking a breather between events. Small moments of self-care can go a long way. 

Lean Into Supportive Traditions 

If you have holiday traditions that bring comfort and connection, lean into them. Familiar activities can offer a sense of stability when the season feels hectic. 

Set Boundaries and Manage Expectations 

Holiday pressures can make it feel like you’re supposed to do everything and please everyone, but that can lead to burnout. Remember, it’s okay to say “no” if a request feels overwhelming. Setting boundaries can make the season less stressful and more enjoyable. Remember you are not responsible for others’ emotions and you can never make everyone happy. 

Acknowledge Your Accomplishments 

The end of the year is a natural time to reflect. Take a moment to recognise what you’ve accomplished over the past year, whether big or small. Reflecting on these wins can be an empowering reminder of your resilience, helping you enter the new year with a sense of pride. 

Stay Mindful and Grounded in the Moment 

Holiday gatherings can feel overwhelming, especially when emotions are running high. Take moments to ground yourself by tuning into your surroundings—the sights, sounds, and even the smells around you. Being mindful like this can help you feel more present and enjoy each moment a bit more. 

Connect With Others, Including Those Who Might Need Extra Support 

Reaching out isn’t only about seeking help—it’s also a way to feel connected. Checking in on friends or family who may need extra support can bring comfort both to them and to you, through shared understanding and solidarity. Sometimes, reaching out to someone else can make us feel less alone too, so don’t hesitate to be that extra support for someone if you can, even if its just in small ways. 

After the Holidays: Carrying the Lessons Forward

As the holiday season wraps up, take a moment to think about what support you needed and what actually helped. The strategies you used to get through can carry you into the new year, giving you a solid base of coping skills and support to build on. Who knows? With each season, you might find that asking for help and setting boundaries gets a little easier. 

Remember, every season brings its own ups and downs, and reaching out when you need it is a skill that makes life feel a bit lighter all year round. Whether it’s during the holidays or any other time, prioritising your well-being and leaning on others when needed is a powerful way to take care of yourself. 

Further Reading:  

Tips from Lifeline on how to not just survive but thrive this holiday season: https://toolkit.lifeline.org.au/articles/general/mental-wellness-during-the-holiday-season 

You can always reach out to trained professionals for support: 

• Lifeline: visit the website or call 13 11 14 

• Beyond Blue: visit the website or call 1300 22 4636 

• MensLine Australia 1300 78 99 78 

• Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800